Who Is Really Clueless? The Dementia Sufferer or the Visitor?


Who Is Really Clueless? The Dementia Sufferer or the Visitor?

frustration-1583655_640As a family caregiver, I appreciate when anyone takes the time to visit my mom, Grace.

Sometimes however I wonder if the visitors are clueless as to what a caregiver is really going through. With Mom being in her last stages, I have seen a serious decline.

I have also seen a decline in knowledge from family members and friends who are clueless about dementia and eldercare.

The following quotes from a few of them baffle me. I wanted to slip one of mom's pills in their lemonade. Clearly they needed the memory medication more than mom did.

1, Last week she didn't know who we were and look at her, she lit up when we came in. (Mom was tugging on my blouse asking, "Who are these people?"

2. I am a believer too and faith is important but sending a "Glad to see you're on the mend" get well card just makes me angry.

3. "When I come visit we can take mom to the buffet and maybe the mall later." What? Mom is sleeping most days and she is afraid of crowds. Plus last time we were at the buffet she put ttwo dessert bowls of pie in her purse.

4. "Mom said she hasn't eaten all day." What? She says that every day sometimes while she's eating!

5. "You need to get out more you're a bit grumpy." This is usually said as they leave and never offer to sit with mom so my husband and I can get out more.

Does anyone else get annoyed by the ridiculous expectations  and suggestions that non caregivers offer? It can't be just me.