Well, I’m trying to be on the up and up and trying to be strong. My MIL is showing signs of shutting down. The hospice nurse is supposed to come today or tomorrow to take a look at her. I have to walk into another room to cry and pull myself together. I’m trying so hard. If I keep busy, it seems to help me. It’s nice spring weather, so we can open the doors and let fresh air in.

The Lord is getting ready to receive Mom up into Heaven. Her mansion is awaiting her. I’m being selfish and not ready to let go, but know that I have to prepare for her. Denny, my husband, is being so strong and so is his dad. They are wonderful!

Why do I feel so upset already? Why do I feel lost already? Is this normal to feel this way? I know that I have had immediate family losses in November and in December of 2014. I must be still grieving, and now I have to prepare for another. I have to look at it as she won't be in any more pain and she won't suffer any more. She'll be in a beautiful place. I have to look at the positive side of things.

I know the next step will be a tough step. Grieving once again. I hope my husband's dad stays healthy for awhile. He's a diabetic and really has not been in the best health either.

My husband and I have to take care of ourselves so we can take care of my husband's father, my FIL. I pray things will go better when all is over.

I suppose that I am just babbling on and on. I feel lost and lonely. I know that I'm not alone. Thanks for letting me babble. I'll keep in touch and let you know how things are. Thank you. I will try to smile.