Why Is It Always About Money?

CatKBorn

Why Is It Always About Money?

CatKBorn
Why is it always about money? Why can't it be about caring, compassion, and/or need? Why does our society look at the ill and the elderly and say: you're on your own, deal with it? Why are caregivers looked down on and/or avoid as if we had the plague? As if our compassion were somehow contagious and that it would be a bad thing if someone were to catch it?

Care facilities charge upwards of $5,000 a year (plus add-ons) to care for our loved ones. Loved ones who had been paying maybe a grand total of $500 a month living on their own. When I worked in HR consulting there were care facilities I assisted. I know what they pay their people - let's not kid ourselves many of these places are out to make a profit. Sometimes I think they charge this much so that they can then turn around and bill Medicaid that much in a screw the government kind of way.And the sad thing is the administrators may not even be aware of it having convinced themselves that they are helping people.

So now, in this house - in this it is cheaper to be cared for at home than a facility house - the cost of caregivers has exceeded Mom's monthly Social Security income by almost double. Well over $2000 a month now. She receives barely over $1100. I can't afford to do any more since I'm buying the food, Depends, disinfectant, gloves, paying the increased utilities, etc. plus my own bills.

Have one friend who can come in Tuesdays, Thursdays and every other Friday for the afternoons (2 until 5). Without her the costs would be even greater. No one else has stepped up. Contacted the STNA programs no students interested. Our church doesn't have any support. One area church has such a ministry but it would be different people all the time and when someone has dementia that isn't a good thing. Also, I'm told these are older people too so how would they be able to help Mom up out of her chair safely? Still too much $ for assistance programs through the Agency on Aging. Oh I know, spending her money on this care agency will drop her down to where she can qualify for services BUT then where will the money come from for her doctor bills? Paying off her one credit card? Paying off her pre-planning deal with the funeral home?

The system appears to think that older Americans have property they can sell for hundreds of thousands of dollars, investments, pensions, etc. They have well-off children who can pay part of their care. Maybe once upon a time. No longer. Most are like Mom. No investments, no property, just Social Security with children like me struggling to make ends meet.

Where are the places of caring that truly care? The sliding scales of payment without reduction in care? Mom doesn't need skilled nursing (yet). She's needs more than assisted living in that she is a fall risk and use of her right hand is about non-existent so getting dressed is tough. She needs whatever is between companion care and nursing care. But she can't afford it. She can't afford a care facility. By the time she needs one she will be looking for a Medicaid bed - which are few and far between.

Are we truly at a point where the only way to survive our healthcare system, our aging care system, and/or just making ends meet is to resort to a GoFundMe campaign? I find that appalling. I really do. That the ability to age with dignity in your own home with quality, reliable assistance is limited by the size of your bank account.

Gone are the days when the "village" came together to help the elderly neighbor lady. Hell, no one even knows who she is any more. Nor do they want to. She can fend for herself. Her daughter can go bankrupt trying to care for her, lose her job due to the hours required to help her mother. Not the "village's" problem. Because at the end of the day, it isn't about compassion, it's about the money. If you don't have it, too bad.

 


 

 

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Rachel Hiles

You are speaking to my own heart:\r\n\r\nGone are the days when the “village” came together to help the elderly neighbor lady. Hell, no one even knows who she is any more. Nor do they want to. She can fend for herself. Her daughter can go bankrupt trying to care for her, lose her job due to the hours required to help her mother. Not the “village’s” problem. Because at the end of the day, it isn’t about compassion, it’s about the money. If you don’t have it, too bad.\r\n\r\n\r\nI have been saying this over and over and over again. My grandma's church (and anyone else who's said they care for her for that matter) has completely left us in the dust.

jan

You are correct on all fronts.